-Learn how to ride a bike
-Use my new found bike riding skills to somehow impress young attractive women (BMX? Doing track stands at intersections adjacent to Forever 21? Haven't decided yet)
-Drink less Dr. Pepper
-Drink more "Still in Medical School Pepper"
-Write less shitty jokes involving Dr. Pepper
-Start a gym that's exclusively for stocky unhealthy pale bald men called "Don't You Judge Me"
-Punch the guy from the Sham Wow commercial in the face
-Wear more cumberbunds
That's about it. Here's to 2009 being better than that shitty, shitty 08. I leave now with a tribute to novelty sunglasses commemorating the 2000s. 09 is the last year douchebags and wacky dads and can wear these things. R.I.P.
No comments:
Post a Comment