Another Installment of Awesome I Saw U's/Missed Connections

Artist's Rendering of Jason Ryan's inner soul when reading these fucked up and completely real Missed Connections/I Saw U's from Seattle's The Stranger and various Craigslist's postings

Hipster asshole at Starbucks

You ran into me on your way out. You were wearing skinny jeans, ridiculous boots, a grey sweater that looked too tight for you and a black leather jacket. You're grande caramel latte made you look really cool. Were you running to meet up with the band? Maybe you could hold the door for me next time.

When: Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Where: Starbucks, capital hill
I saw a: Man
I am a: Woman
Date posted: Wednesday, January 21, 2009

pregnant hottie at fun house

you are a hot ass blonde chick i think your pregnant. i spilled my beer on you at the front of the stage when paincocktail was playing. i smell old. you might have smelled me

When: Friday, January 2, 2009
Where: fun house
I saw a: Woman
I am a: Man

To The Goth Chick At My Yardsale Yesterday~Kenny Rd
Reply to: pers-800857400@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-17, 4:25PM EDT

Honey I don't know if you meant to show me your half shaved pussy or not but you made my day. You sat in that lawn chair looking at that book and threw them white thighs opened and it actually made me dizzy. It look liked your pussy hair was purple was it? Did it hurt when you got that ring in your pussy cheek?

I hope you see this and since I advertised my sale on craigslist you may very well be on here. I'm 68 years old and my thang hasn't been more than a three inch wrinkled little ball of meat for years but I've had a 7" boner since yesterday. I even spit out a little juice this morning when I woke up thinking about you. I have a leather making hobby and I'd be very interested in making some things for you.

Boner Dave

To the HOT looking Frum woman on the #2 train - Please read! - m4w - 46 (brooklyn)
Reply to: pers-856404688@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-27, 9:41PM EDT


You stood there, hot, sexy, dressed in a tight black cardigan that complimented your neat appearance. You knew you were the object of attention and you seemed at ease with it. Our eyes met... you noticed me... fat, balding, with a hint of garlic on my breath... you must've been taken in with me as I wish you, because we were on the same train that day.... and everything about you has me written all over it... I'm certain you're spending your precious time searching endlessly online for my post, because the image of you with a farshvitzte chassidish kaker has been cultivating for years within your broken heart.. I want to sweep into your life upon my semi running 1980s Oldsmobile. The wind of the broken windows blowing through your hair and my beard.... and I'll tell you all the wonderful romantic words I wanted to tell you on the train, but was afraid you'd notice my missing teeth, and also the garlic smell upon me breath....

* Location: brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Quenn ann bus stop
You slinder older man, me younger black girl name Taai. You name is T Gibson. I was picking up a pizza some one dropped when you saw me. I been looking for you contact me

When: Sunday, November 2, 2008
Where: Quenn Ann bus stop by Pagliacis
I saw a: Man
I am a: Woman