The bank robber dubbed the "Man Hand's Bandit" has struck again.
At 9:57 this morning the man robbed the First Security Bank at 620 Edmonds Way in Edmonds. He presented a demand note to the teller, but did not display or imply a weapon, according to the FBI. Once again, he tried to disguise himself by dressing as a woman.
He is described as a white man, about 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. He was wearing a long black wig, a black zip-front hoody with matching black pants and brown Puma shoes. He was also carrying a shiny silver purse.
Remember how just a wee bit ago I posted the Murder City Devils thing in connection with "Indolent Magic With Sam Rousso"? Well, that very show will be part of a brand new web TV station that Bobby and I are launching in the Summer.
It will also be the home of Real Adult Feelings, a couple of web zines and a lot more. javascript:void(0) It will be the official home of Oh Girl Productions, Friends of Julius' production company. Which leads me to...
2. "Live Wrong"
Bobby and I are writing, producing and directing a web series, that will also be part of Oh Girl TV, called "Live Wrong". The show will star us, playing dudes named Bobby and Jason and will mostly likely feature Paul Marshall and FOJer Sam Rousso from time to time. For lack of a better description, it is sort of shaping up to be kind of like a sitcom/sketch hybrid and a sort of younger, hipper, more sensitive version of "Seinfeld". We shot some footage for a trailer last week and will drop a teaser soon. Keep your eyes peeled.
Last week I had the pleasure of working on our very own Sam Rousso's latest venture, a talk show called "Indolent Magic With Sam Rousso". FOJ member #3, Bobby, was also in tow making it essentially a Friends of Julius production. There will be more details on this soon, including behind the scenes pictures and a link to the first episode.
But for now I thought I would give some love to the first guest we had on the show, Spencer Moody of the Murder City Devils. If you perhaps lived under a rock in the late 90s and don't know the joy that is the Murder City Devils, check out this little ditty:
Much love to Spencer, he's a sweet dude. Check out Murder City Devils if you haven't already and keep your eyes peeled for "Indolent Magic With Sam Rousso" soon.
Do you know who this is? I swear to god that I that I've met them before but I can't remember when or where. I normally wouldn't do something like this but ever since I got google analytics I realize that a LOT more people read this blog than I previously thought so why not turn it into my own personal referral service. Figure out who this woman is, team. Otherwise it will drive me crazy.
Whoomp, there it is. Good stuff. Mike Harring is a fellow Seattle filmmaker and Sleepy Eyes of Death is a band that some good dudes I know are in. Put the 2 together and you get straight dopeness.
This isn't especially funny or anything but it looks like Mike worked his ass off for this so I wanted to show him some love.
One of my dearest, dearest friends in the universe is a woman named Nikki. She lives in NY. She always told me she wouldn't start a blog. Now she did. You should check it out, readers of this blog because she is honestly one of the greatest people to ever live and I will love her forever (but not like THAT, guys). It's called Skunks and Artichokes. It's mostly about animals but my favorite part is that there is a post with pictures of me in it. Who wouldn't love that?
From CO-ED "Magazine" (who would figure, right?), a list of the top 10 things From Your 20s That You'll Regret When You're 40 (good day for you, number fans). Most of these are no brainers but in a "yes, finally somebody just fucking said this" kind of way.
In case you need a little background, this is a re-dub of a Kiss video for "Made For Loving You". As a guy whose never been a big Kiss fan, I prefer the STS version better.
STS did it once with Peter Bjorn and John but it isn't as funny.
Hey, readers! This is Frank! Delgado! The Friends of Julius guys were nice enough to give me a new column on here so...here I am!
The name of this column is "Aw, Rats!". It's a pun! Well, sort of. It's like what it's about cause it's about being frustrated but also about how I own and care for several adult rats. What's that called? When something is about 2 things at once?
Well, anyways...today I'd like to talk about women. Specifically a woman named Donna Schaffer. You know who you are, Donna. I mean, she's a pretty gal. Don't get me wrong, she's got a shape to her. But what kind of woman lets a man take her to Black Angus, buy her a full steak dinner, take her back to his place, fix her a Pina Colada and then when is confronted with about a half dozen rats...screams like a little baby and takes a cab home? I mean, most of them were in cages. All of them are clean. C'mon, Donna! I just have two words for you:
Comedy Clubs have the worst names. That's no secret. But some of them are painfully, cringe inducing bad. And if there's one thing I love it's making my readers cringe...
10. Dr. Grins - Grand Rapids, MI
Man, medical school is tough. No wonder doctors make so much money. It's unfortunate for this dude that he got through medical school in one piece and everything but since his surname is Grins he didn't get very far. I mean, would you want to get a pap smear from "Dr. Grins"? I certainly wouldn't and I'm a dude! So I guess you have no choice but to open a comedy club at that point. Sux 2 B Him.
9. Comedy Dawgs - Halifax
Anything with a W in it that doesn't need to be there is bad. Examples: "I Wuv You!", the White House.
8. Mixed Nuts - Los Angeles
I like my comedy clubs and genital euphemisms separate, thanks very much.
7. The Riot Act - Washington D.C.
Haha. Oh, man. I get it. Cause it's like a laugh riot but also it's like another thing that means something else. Hahaha. Oh, lord.
6. The Funny Farm - Atlanta
Sigh.
5. Snickerz - Ft. Wayne, IN
To borrow something from the world of Snicker Bar advertising...this one is just plain "chewpid".
4. Magooby's Joke House - Baltimore
If you're name is Magooby you have about 3 options. 1 is to change your name to something less goofy like Smith, 2 is to embrace it and become a clown and perform at kids parties and 3 is to take the middle of the road path and be kinda sorta wacky and open a comedy club with money your bitter and racist Grandfather left you in his will. Joke's on you, Grandpa.
3. The Brew Ha Ha - Rapid City, SD
Oh, man. This place is great. Cause right away you know you are going to get a couple of things once inside. You are probably going to get a beer of some sort and also probably at least a couple of laughs. Fuck that obscure shit. Tell it like it is.
2. Laugh Inn - Ft. Meyers, Florida
Get it?
1. Rooster T. Feathers - Sunnyvale, CA
This one just boggles my mind. What's funny about chickens? What does the T stand for? Do they serve chicken? Do chickens perform? EXPLAIN YOURSELF, MR. FEATHERS!
From Ye's blog: SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME! 04.09.2009
For future reference, "I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM" is how I am going to live my life.
My friend Molly from New York recently started up a blog with some friends to rate Trader Joe's products. Here are my reactions to this news, in the order in which they occured:
1. Oh, cool. That's a good idea. I will check this out later. 2. (whilst checking out) Ha. Molly's pretty funny. I will add this to my blog roll. 3. I should open a sushi bar with cutesy names for things like a "blog roll". 4. What exactly would be in a "blog roll"? Something kind of dumb and superficial? 5. It's a little bit of a bummer Molly didn't ask me to contribute to the Trader Joes blog. I go there everyday practically and I'm pretty fucking funny. 6. Oh, I got it. The "blog roll" would contain a different thing every week. A play on the notion of "flavor of the week". 7. Man, I can't even read this blog now just because I'm wishing I was asked to be a part of it. 8. Sushi sounds really good. 9. Alright, I'm being ridiculous. Let's just promote this blog and love it, you ego maniacal jerkoff. 10. Maybe I will start my own blog and hilariously review sushi. 11. I have the perfect list of contributors to the sushi blog: oh...well, me, of course. Um...also, myself. And...oh, yeah...this dude named I. 12. That'll show 'em.
I enjoy the rock and roll music. Sometimes I like it to roll more, like when I'm trying to...say, cry gently whilst doing a crossword puzzle or...make love to a woman...or both.
But more often than not I like things to rock a little more. Quite often that rock takes the form of metal or hardcore music or "heavy metal" if you are an out of touch news anchor reporting a story about mosh pits, or "that screamy scream music" if you are the elderly woman I used to work with who secretly hated me. I'm just sick of defending it by now. Listening to metal doesn't make you dumb, a meathead, violent, aggressive or whatever the hell people think.
With this in mind, I decided to lay out a couple of steps to understanding why metal matters and isn't for leather clad hillbillies anymore.
1. Understand that metal vocals shouldn't ever be confused with, or thought of, as singing.
I can't tell you how many times I have had a girl over, put some Slayer on the old stereo and heard some variation of "oh, god! You call that singing? He's just screaming! I can do that!".
Here's a newsflash, people. Yeah, it's not singing. It's not trying to be. Making sounds with your mouth doesn't equal trying to croon some old fashioned ditties, as a rule. Comparing the two is like comparing rapping to singing or what Keanu Reeves does with acting. It's a different thing, it exists for a different purpose. You aren't likely to see the lead singer from "Fucked Up" on American Idol anytime soon. It's almost like another instrument, a way to make the music more abrasive and energetic.
Look, I know nothing I say is going to convince you to suddenly like "cookie monster" vocals but at the very least stop comparing it to singing for the love of god. We know.
2. Don't let typical metalheads ruin it for everybody.
Most out of the closet metalheads are dumb, ponytailed weirdos who live with their parents, smell weird and own way too many black clothes with grease stains on them. Fair enough. I can't explain that. But don't judge all of us based on a few ignorant apples. I love metal and the only piece of dark clothing I own is a sweater from the Gap. Judging all based on a few is basically like being a racist, you racist jerk.
3. Metal musicians are insanely talented.
Ok, let's say you just can't get past the vocals. Alright, point taken. But can we all agree that metal musicians are insanely fucking talented at least?
Look at this clip of Dave Lombardo from Slayer playing drums:
Nuff said.
4. It's not 1985 anymore.
I think a lot of people still have this mental image of metal bands as looking like douche bags from the 80s, with shitty hair and even shittier fashion sense. But in fact, very few leather vests are prominent in today's metal landscape.
These guys are a metal band. They are called Harvey Milk. They are awesome. No leather.
While we are on the subject of change, most metal bands of merit don't sound anything like Judas Priest or Megadeath or whatever your mind goes to when you hear the words "metal band". Some of the most original and interesting music being made right now is in the metal genre. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett! Download the new Kylesa album if you don't believe me.
Alright, that's it really. I realize I didn't change your mind. I'm not expecting to convert any new recruits. Truth of the matter is that metal isn't for everyone, maybe not even most. It's an acquired taste and it if appealed to everybody metal wouldn't be considered a subversive genre, this blog post would be pointless and we could all be chilling somewhere listening to Pig Destroyer right now instead of reading words on the internet.
Look, all I can really ask for, and the whole point of this thing, is to maybe get you to not roll your eyes when some dude on the bus is blasting Isis super loud on his headphones. Or not shoot down a guy hitting on you at the bar just because he's wearing a Mastodon shirt with some epic looking demon on it. And you should especially not be all into a dude for a couple of months and then stop seeing them shortly after they tell you they kind of want to bone while listening to Slayer. You know who you are, girl.
We're not monsters. It's just music.
Now let's all devote more of our time and energy into disliking a boring and stupid genre of music with no hope for redemption...like world music. You've been on top for too long, Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
One of my fellow bloggers just threw some straight magic over on his site. It's a series of collages he created for a night flea market in Berlin. Check it:
Welcome to the official blog for the Seattle based comedy/film/video group Friends of Julius. Jason Ryan (writer/comedian) is the primary dude behind the group and therefore this blog is mostly his. We are extremely lazy but you can find some of our work on Vimeo and You Tube. Specific sketches and other assorted oddities are linked below.
