The Top 6 Hottest Movie Performances Ever

6. Marlon Brando in "Streetcar Named Desire" (token male pic so that I'm not branded sexist or homophobic)


Alright, I admit it...Marlon Brando was a pretty sexy dude. There, you happy womyn of the world?

5. Marilyn Monroe in "Some Like It Hot"




Fuck "7 Year Itch". For my money Double M never looked finer than in Billy Wilder's comedy classic.

4. Kate Winslet in "Jude"


Pros: Full frontal nudity, one of the most beautiful women to ever walk the Earth.
Cons: The rest of the movie.

3. Zooey Deschanel in...pretty much every movie she's ever been in*.


What else is there to say besides "Ho-lee Sheeit". I mean, those eyes, those cheeks, those bangs....hot damn! Even "Elf" sucked less because she was in it.

*-except "The Happening".

2. Goldie Hawn in any movie she made before 1980.




Some co-workers and I once had a discussion about what we do if we had a "sex time machine"...a device that enabled you to go back to any period of time and sleep with anyone you wanted. The ladies overwhemingly chose "Streetcar" era Marlon Brando (see above) and the menfolk were pretty evenly split between Marilyn Monroe (pre-overdose) and Bettie Page for the most part. I was branded a heretic because my pick was late 70s era Goldie Hawn. Yes, go on laugh. Yuck it up. Sure, now we know Goldie as some botox filled Hollywood wash-up but in her hey day...dear God. I mean, look at that face! Imagine if Kate Hudson looked like 8 times hotter than she does already. Go on, IMAGINE IT! If you aren't attracted to her then you are either gay or in a coma or in a gay coma. SUX 2 B U. If you don't believe me just behold the clip from "Foul Play" above but ignore the creepy albino dude...there's nothing sexy about them.

1. Michelle Williams in "The Baxter"




This is by far the most attractive a human being has ever looked on camera. Ms. William's performance in Michael Showalter's directorial debut single-handedly did 2 things for me: one, made me obsessed with bangs on girls and two, turned Michelle Williams from "that one chick from Dawson's Creek" into my standard answer to the question "which celebrity would you most like to put your penis inside?". Her turn as Mike Show's (eventual) love interest is equal parts vunerabilty, hipster sex appeal, bookish charm all served from a perfect pair of lips. Note to women of the world: wear your hair like this please k thnx.